Posts Tagged ‘divorce’

Okay, I don’t know where I was in August of this year, ( I really do know) but apparently I wasn’t paying attention to that there was a new insurance to be had, Divorce Insurance.  This novel insurance became available for the first time in America on August 5, 2010, with the launch of the online insurance website, www.WedLockDivorceInsurance.com. The company sells individual policies which can be purchased in units with coverage ranging from $1,250.00 per unit to a maximum of 200 units or $250,000 in coverage. After 48 months (four years) the policies mature but insureds can purchase additional riders at $30.00 per unit to reduce the waiting period to 36 months (three years). If a marriage should fail after the policy matures, the couples walk away with a cash payment equivalent to the amount of coverage purchased.

From the financial perspective, even with the high cost of divorce today divorce insurance does not seem very cost effective.  From what I understand, if a standard policyholder who purchased 10 units divorced after 10 years, they would have paid over $19,188 in premiums.  The insurance company would pay them $27,500, which would be taxed over the amount of their premium payments.  To receive this settlement, they would have to be divorced, which could cost $30,000 on the average to well over $100,000, per attorney, on the high end where there are issues of child custody, retirement, business or property ownership to resolve.

If you believe the current statistics that 40 to 50% of first marriages end in divorce, then 50 to 60% of those who purchase divorce insurance will never see a return on their investment and will lose everything they have paid in.  On the flip side, for those ‘lucky enough’ to capitalize on their investment by divorcing, there would be costly legal fees and a break-up of their family structure.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I would get married to someone who wants to purchase Divorce Insurance.  Then again, I don’t want to get married at all, so maybe I am the last person you should be listening to on this one.  Maybe you should head on over to WedLock Insurance Company and make up your own mind!

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I Want a Divorce
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I came across an interesting website and thought I would share it with all of you, Divorce Candy.

Randi and Jen have created this website for anyone who’s considering divorce, dealing with divorce, or knows someone who is.  They’ve packed their site with articles (updated at least twice a week!), advice, support, communities and more to help you start over, stay positive, and move forward.

They have articles to explore their Concierge Services, designed to help you with everything from taking back your life, having a divorce party, or changing your look! They have expert forums to participate in You’ve Got People to discuss current topics, issues, and trends with their experts and other users.  And yes, they even have a Divorce Registry where you can register to let your friends and family know what you need to start over!  Or as they put it, “Your wife took the tool box. Your husband took the crystal. Now what do you do? Register!”

This is a whole new way of looking at divorce, a new beginning instead of an ending.  Check it out, you may find it as interesting and useful as many others have!

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A bizarre story out of New Hampshire about a plotting ex-wife and her years of lies regarding her ex-husband.  Judge Kenneth McHugh said Ruggiero’s attempt to set up her ex-husband and use the legal system as a weapon was unlike any other case he has seen.

“There’s a lot of people, usually women, who have been subjected to abuse by their significant others,” McHugh said, during Ruggiero’s sentencing yesterday. “As a result of her actions, their cases, their safety, their security has been damaged. The web for this is much greater than what has just happened to Mr. Ruggiero.”

A jury found that Kristin Ruggiero registered a disposable cell phone under her ex-husband’s name and sent herself a dozen threatening and suicidal text messages. She then reported to East Kingston police in May 2008 that her ex-husband had violated bail conditions tied to a criminal threatening case, which police learned was also fabricated by the 34-year-old mother.

By portraying herself as a victim, she duped local police and portrayed her ex-husband, Jeffrey Ruggiero, as a violent monster while the couple was going through a contentious divorce in family court, according to prosecutors.

The couple battled over finances and their 7-year-old daughter.

While Jeffrey Ruggiero was being investigated, his ex-wife called him at all hours and taunted him over the phone, according to court testimony.

“She mocked him. She laughed at him. (She said) ‘I took all your money, I took your daughter and now I am going to take your career’,” Assistant County Attorney Jerome Blanchard said in court yesterday.

Before her arrest in September 2008, Ruggiero nearly had the criminal justice and family court system fooled, according to prosecutors. A district court judge convicted Jeffrey Ruggiero of misdemeanor criminal threatening and related charges, but refused to jail him before sentencing.

That allowed Jeffrey Ruggiero to remain free on bail and return to his job as a petty officer in the U.S. Coast Guard.

It enraged Kristin Ruggiero so much that she came up with the scheme about receiving a series of threatening and suicidal text messages. Ruggiero was sentenced on 12 counts of falsifying physical evidence, which each carry a potential 3 1/2 to 7-year prison term.

In Family Law you here some pretty bizarre stories and this one is one of the strangest I have heard in quite awhile.

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ALBANY, NY - MARCH 17: New York Governor David...
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As reported in Bloomberg.com, the Governor of New York, David Paterson, signed into law the no fault divorce in New York yesterday.   Previously, parties had to point fingers at the other side alleging cruelty, adultery or abandonment to get a divorce.

The change goes into effect in 60 days and will govern the divorces filed then or later.  Current divorce actions will go forward with the existing law.  New York has a history of lagging behind other states in allowing divorces.  From 1787 to a reform bill of 1966, the only ground was adultery.  Under a more recent reform, a couple could get an uncontested divorce after living apart for a year and agreeing to settlement terms. That option wasn’t open to everyone, because many couples agree only that the marriage is over, not on what happens to children and assets.

Of 56,937 divorce filings in New York State last year, 43,724 were uncontested and 13,213, or 23 percent, were contested, according to state court system data.

While this change will probably make a financial impact on attorneys in New York as the need for trials will diminish, those that want to fight will continue to do so, which will keep the attorneys employed.

In California, even with no fault divorce, there are still plenty of attorneys who are kept busy with hearings and trials for custody, visitation and the division of assets and debts.

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Linda Bollea, 50, was pictured celebrating American Independence Day in Florida on her yacht ‘Alimoney.’

Linda Bollea, ex Mrs. Hulk Hogan

The ship’s name was perhaps a misspelled joke and may refer to the reported  ‘outstanding settlement’ Linda received following her divorce from the wrestling star last year.

Hogan (real name Terry Bollea) and Linda, who appeared with Brooke and 19-year-old son Nick on reality show Hogan Knows Best, divorced last summer after 23 years of marriage. They split in 2007.

While I normally don’t put this type of an article on my blog, it does show that there is life after divorce.  Of course, it probably helps if you get a multi-million dollar settlement!
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1292660/Hulk-Hogans-ex-wife-Linda-Bollea-sets-sail-yacht-Alimoney.html#ixzz0t2MqiZv6

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I have said it before and I will say it again, be careful what you share on Facebook.  More attorneys are using what you post on your Facebook page in custody and divorce matters.  Even in the UK, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says that around 81% of its members have had to deal with — or have themselves used — evidence from social media sources, including Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.  And a UK site reported that the word “Facebook” alone appeared in around 20% of its cases last year.

Citing Facebook posts, one mom lost custody of her kids because she was playing FarmVille or World of Warcraft when she claimed to be spending time with them.  A husband who denied anger management issues but spouted to the world, complete with violent threats on his Facebook profile, also lost custody of his children.

Judges don’t have many compunctions about admitting such evidence, the reigning wisdom being that it’s difficult to impossible to make a fraudulent entry of some kind on a user’s Facebook page.  I have personally seen MySpace accounts used in juvenile dependency matters to substantiate the county’s claims that a parent was involved in gang related activities, enabling the county to terminate parental rights.

So, if you don’t want your significant other using things against you in a custody or divorce matter, start being a responsible adult and don’t post the stuff that shows you in a less than flattering way to the world.

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New York State Senate Chamber in the New York ...
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New York is the only state in the country that does not allow no-fault divorce, creating what divorce lawyers call institutionalized perjury by forcing couples in failing marriages to essentially lie to a judge.  I wrote not to long ago about a case in New York in which the wife threatened the husband with a samurai sword and was denied a divorce and how ludicrous this was.

The New York state senate has approved a bill that would permit no-fault divorce, allowing couples to cite irreconcilable differences as grounds for ending a marriage instead of having to assign blame to one party.

The state assembly, or lower house, should take up the matter in the coming weeks. Backers of the law are hopeful it will pass and reach the desk of Governor David Paterson, who is expected to support it.

California was the first state to pass the no-fault divorce in 1969, and many other states followed soon after.  The Catholic Church has fought changes to the law in New York in an effort to keep married couples together and has found an ally in the National Organization for Women (NOW), normally at odds politically with the church on issues such as abortion.

It was only a matter of time that this law went into effect, and I wonder how many new divorces will be filed once this law is on the books. It will certainly be interesting to see.

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I read an interesting article this morning on Divorce Without Dishonor. The article is found here. The article talks about how parents play games to gain extra time with their children during the summer. The author of the article talks about a personal child custody battle which occurred shortly after the ink was barely dry on the divorce.

The article further goes on to state that in many court orders, each parent is entitled to one (1) or two (2) weeks of summer vacation and the dates are usually left to the parties to work out. Often divorced parents are required to take turns each year in having the right to select their vacation time with the children first. Sometimes each parent is entitled to have two (2) non-consecutive weeks of summer vacation and as is customary, these weeks would replace or supersede the regular child access schedule and therefore necessarily “trumped” the other parent’s regularly scheduled time with their children.

The problem? The summer is only so long, and from school year’s end to the next start date it is usually about ten (10) weeks, i.e. about seventy (70) days. Neither party can plan with any certainty when the summer schedule isn’t confirmed or if it is in dispute because of misinterpretation or deliberate exploitation by playing “word games.” Taking an example with a regular schedule of children being alternating Friday, Saturday and Sunday overnights with each parent and during the week, with Dad overnight on Monday and Tuesday and with Mom overnights on Wednesday and Thursday.

When mom advises that she will take her first week after her five (5) day scheduled time with the kids, there will likely be a problem. By doing it that way, in fact, she will strategically choose days so that she gets at least (12) twelve or more overnights in a row. And of course no good deed goes unnoticed and Dad, when it is his turn to count will return the scheduling favor so each of his weeks will begin at the conclusion of his five (5) overnights so that he will the take his twenty-four (24) overnights (almost three and one-half weeks), as his two (2) weeks vacation. The bigger problem is that with (48) forty-eight (twenty-four 24 each) of maybe seventy (70) summer nights accounted for, what happens in between all of that? Hard to plan isn’t it? Who gets what? How much agreement is there likely to be and what kind of summer will your children have?

Might I ask, “How is it that (2) two weeks consists of 24 twenty-four overnights?” No wonder we need lawyers to figure this stuff out!

Yes, many parents continue playing games with each other for many years after they split. What they fail to take into account is that the ones losing in their games are the children. It is the children who don’t get to see the other parent for those 24 consecutive overnights with the other parent. When you have small children, it is especially important to these children that they have contact with both parents on a consistent basis. Believe me, when they are grown they will remember the games you play. So, if you are one of the parents who thinks that it is cool that you got one over on the other parent and are constantly playing “word games” with the orders in your custody matter, you may be out in the cold when your children grow up.

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I ran across an article in the New York Times today about divorce is higher for women diagnosed with brain tumors than men diagnosed with brain tumors. Dr. Chamberlain, chief of the neuro-oncology division at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center notice that his male patients were typically receiving much-needed support from their wives. But a number of his female patients were going it alone, ending up separated or divorced after receiving a brain tumor diagnosis.

The results of a study he participated in were surprising. Women in the study who were told they had a serious illness were seven times as likely to become separated or divorced as men with similar health problems, according to the report published in the journal Cancer.

For the complete article in the New York Times, see the link below.

Divorce Risk Higher When Wife Gets Sick – Well Blog – NYTimes.com

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I came across an article written by Rosalind Sedacca, CCT., in which she states that divorce filings rise every January.    I am not sure where she gets her statistical information, but she also claims that divorce filings are even higher this January.  Since we are only in day 9 of the month, I question the accuracy of her statement.  Never the less, she does reiterate a point I have made several times over the time I have been blogging about the children involved in divorce.  Her statement is as follows:

Put yourself in your child’s place and feel the insecurity, fear, anxiety, guilt and shame that your child may be experiencing. Make decisions based on how he or she is going to look back and remember these next several years.

  • Did you put their physical, emotional and psychological needs first?
  • Did you respect the fact that children innately love both parents and are wounded when one of them is disparaged, regardless of your personal perspective about it?
  • Did you force your child to be a spy or go-between, taking on responsibilities that children should not bear?
  • Did you ask your child to choose between loving Mom or Dad, or take sides in any way?
  • Did you keep their other parent from active participation in their life because you wanted to hurt your spouse?

The above can not be said enough as far as I am concerned.  Let’s all do our best this year to remember this and if you haven’t been doing this, why don’t you start?  Your children will benefit the most for it.

For more information and articles by Rosalind Sedacca, CCT., please click here.