Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Commentary: Man up and be a real dad –

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Yes, fathers are important to their children.  I know how difficult it is to raise children without the assistance of a father.  I can’t imagine how a boy must feel when his own father tells him he is nothing and will amount to nothing.  I plan on reading this entire book, perhaps it will help to understand the pain that not having a father in your life, or having a father in your life but one who constantly belittles you can have on a boy and how it affects him in his adult life and relationships.

Maine legalizes same-sex marriage –

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Well, Maine steps up to the plate and legalizes same sex marriage.  Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa also allow same-sex marriages.  So, California, why are we so behind on this issue?  This is usually the state that is the forefront of everyone else.

Father throws baby out of car onto freeway- no remorse – Instablogs

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This story is unbelievable.  I read an article last evening that stated that the man responsible for this act was not the father of the infant.  Today they are saying he is the father.  Regardless, tossing a helpless infant into the roadway is unconscionable.  What we have heard so far, is that the baby’s mother is a victim of domestic violence by this man and in his anger, he took the child and drove off tossing him out of the car in the middle of the night on a dark roadway.  I am sure we will hear more about this.

PAS occurs in high conflict cases where the children are very involved in the personal conflict between the parents. Unable to manage the situation so as to preserve an affectionate relationship with both parents, the child takes the side of one parent against the other and participates in the battle as an ally of the alienating parent who is defined as good against the other parent who is viewed as despicable.  It has been found that continued hostility and protracted litigation between the parents contributes to the development of PAS in older children.  In other words, where the system, namely the Court, is unable to settle and contain parental divorce conflicts, the children may be at  an increasing risk for developing PAS as they get older.

I have seen several cases in the office where PAS has occurred, both alienation of the mother and of the father.  It is devastating to the parent who has been alienated from their child’s life.  When children are involved in their parent’s conflict over a continued period of time, it wreaks havoc on the parent/child relationship.  If the other parent constantly belittles the alienated parent and involves the child in this action, the child takes on the parent’s hatred of the other parent.

In the cases I have been involved in, the children were teenagers or pre-teens.  Their statements made to the alienated parents were filled with hate and anger.  These children spoke of things that children should never be involved in when their parents are divorcing, or are no longer living together if they were never married.  Children should not know the private and intimate details of their parent’s lives. They are not mature enough to understand and form their own opinions.  They will eventually believe the parent who continues to fill their head with anger towards the other parent.  They will grow up to have no relationships or damaged relationships of their own and probably continue to do the same to their own children, continuing the cycle all over again.  PAS is another form of abuse, it may not leave bruises or broken bones, but it leaves marks on children for the rest of their lives.

Children should be given the love of both parents at all times.  Neither parent should ever involve the children in the parental conflicts.  Yes, it can be difficult to do.  But if you don’t want the Court to intervene on behalf of the children’s best interests, you, as parents must do everything in your power to ensure that your children are given every opportunity to grow up happy and with the ability to have a good relationship with both parents.  After all, your children are part of both parents and trust me, they will be happier adults if you can work with the other parent rather than work against them.

Well, another state recognizing gay marriage.  So, what will California do now?  Let’s keep our eye on this one.

New York divorce laws cost us $100,000.

So, the next time you think a divorce in California costs a lot, just think, in New York, you can’t get a divorce without going to court and having a trial.  This couple spent over $100,000 just to get an agreement to divorce.  I know it doesn’t really help when you are in the middle of the divorce, but it gives you something to think about.

Young couple moves in with her ex-husband –

This is an interesting article that I ran across at CNN. The economy is so bad that this ex-wife and her new husband, struggling in this economy, moved in with her ex-husband. According to the article, the divorce was a tough one with a custody battle too. The parents are now on much better terms and are now enjoying living in the same house with their children and sharing the responsibilities of co-parenting. So, I guess the moral here is, when you are in the middle of that ugly divorce and wondering if you will ever get through it, let alone be friends with your ex, it can happen. There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you don’t think so right now. Remember, it is all about the kids and their well-being and happiness.

check this out

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Yesterday, I was asked if you can file for divorce if you and your spouse still live in the same house.  Well, my answer is, I am not an attorney and I can’t give legal advice.  However, I can ask the attorney or better yet, you can make an appointment and ask the attorney all the questions you have related to divorce, when you can file, where you can file and if you can file.

What I can tell you is as most of us in California know, we are a no-fault divorce state.  What this means is that you do not have to have a reason to get a divorce other than irreconcilable differences, which basically means, ‘we don’t get along anymore’.  So, your spouse doesn’t have to be having an affair for you to file for divorce, (believe me we still hear this one) the Court doesn’t care if they are anyways.  Your spouse doesn’t have to agree to a divorce, (and yes, we hear this one too, “he won’t give me a divorce and he said that’s final”) the Court doesn’t care if they agree to a divorce.

So, maybe in a way I just gave you the answer to that original question.  But you won’t know unless you ask an attorney, will you?

Check out the site above for an article on the rise of divorce in our economy today.  I think you might find it interesting reading.  Let me know what you think, I would be interested to know your thoughts on the economy and how it is affecting you and your family.